posted 6 months ago via pizza with 188,146 notes

poryqon:

if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you

clearbay:

I LOVE ORDERING THINGS FROM ONLINE ITS LIKE SOMEONE SENT YOU A PRESENT BUT YOU SENT YOURSELF THAT PRESENT 

Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production. And he was vain: I do not believe I have ever met a more physically attractive person who was more acutely aware of his own physical attractiveness. But I will say this: When the scientists of the future show up at my house with robot eyes and they tell me to try them on, I will tell the scientists to screw off, because I do not want to see a world without him.

I’m not the type of girl anybody wants to be with. My body takes up too much space and I laugh too loudly for too long and I shout when other people are quiet and when I’m drunk I type in caps and I always wanted to be mysterious and beautiful and untouchable like other girls but if you ask I will give you everything and I fucking despise that

Shailene Woodley for Bust Magazine

thetallblacknerd:

I find it comical when women think I care about

Stretchmarks
If one titty is slightly bigger than the other
Birthmarks
Fat areas
Bumps or discoloration
Cellulite
Sweat
Morning breath
Human flaws

If I have you naked in front of me and I am naked too, the only thing on my mind is where am I putting my mouth first

"I’m actually an incredible goofball. I do imitations and joke around all day. I keep things light in my life."(X) 

stupidstagram:

U ever been so tired ur eyelids burn when u blink

aegean-sea:

LOWERCASE LETTERS ARE FOR THE LOWER CLASS

encourage:

if you think i’m ugly now you should have seen me in 2009

molleficent:

quick fixes for a shitty day
- brush your teeth
- exfoliate
- sort out your eyebrows
- do your laundry
- change your sheets
- hug a fluffy thing
- eat a snack
- reach out to someone even if it’s just a text
- get naked and dance a lil

  • justin sexting: what colour bra u wearin haha
ofjack